But still brings a broken world into our living rooms.
The Hopelessness Of Pain
I want not to care. If I care, I hurt.
I want not to love. If I love, I hurt.
I want not to feel. If I feel, I hurt.
I want not to hear. If I hear, I hurt.
I want not to see. If I see, I hurt.
I want not to speak. Because if I begin to speak, then from that space where my heart used to be.
This space that holds my love for my country. From this space, such sorrowful words will spill out. And once those flood gates burst open, my country will be painted blood red. With the collective sorrow from me, and you, and you too. As the sum of the parts become the whole.
Our Present Reality
So, because we are now joined as one in the fight against an unseen enemy. We must have compassion for ourselves as they have none for us. How do I know this, that they have no compassion for us? Because they have chosen to let us die. They, those people that have us locked down. They have chosen to let, to date, 3199 of our loved ones, die. And those that died, our loved ones, they died alone, gasping for breath. Then swaddled or shrouded, laid out in body bags in makeshift mortuaries. Till volunteers found the energy to place them in their final resting places. While those who mourned watched in silence and in inconsolable sorrow from afar.
They, those people who locked you down, then gave to 128,150 companies, permits to operate. They, those people who locked you down, have allowed 1.57 million workers to go to work. So, which companies won the lottery through a failed system? We need to know how it was that the MITI website just collapsed on registration day. So that it became “them” that decided which group of people stayed home to starve and which industries suddenly now became essential services?
They, those people who locked you down, they must be held responsible for 7748 new cases today. They must be held responsible for 603,132 Covid-19 cases to date. Because, if there was transparency, we would try to understand their rationale and forgive the numbers. So Malaysians, for those who stay at home, have compassion for yourselves. For they, they have none for you.
And so, once again we are bombarded daily on social media. As we watch the shadow play and the murky vileness of the undercurrents. Of an administration that is now grasping at straws to keep a pandemic at bay. This administration, without leadership by any yardstick, now finally scrambling. Too little, too late perhaps, because the roll-out of vaccines has been delayed. And the numbers of those who have received their vaccinations has not even skimmed the surface of a populace that are living in hope. The hope that “they” will finally get it right and the virus can be halted in its tracks.
Keeping Hope Alive
So put aside your anger. Try, when you are ready to get past all this grief, don’t waste your time on them. Turn instead, your anger into courage and stay home, if you can. If you have to go out, stay very very safe. But most of all, have compassion for yourself. Because you know it, and I know it. That they don’t really care for any of us at all, not even their own.
It’s been such a long year and we are all so very very tired. But we cannot stop yet, if at all, let’s really do the work now. There’s that mountain to scale and that precipice to get over. Unnecessary obstacles put in place by greed, race and religious bigotry. All meshed together by a fear of their making, but foisted on us. So let’s work together to put all this behind us. And then, just maybe then, together, we will win this battle.
Then when we have won, we will be strong enough to get ourselves to the polls. And vote out a regime that has spent an entire year culling the hopes. And the dreams of a maligned and bamboozled people already confuddled. By the implementation of Ministerial decisions, not once thought through rationally. Resulting in ill advised bazaars and night markets and a massive exodus. Of people rushing home by the thousands waving permits, given out. By a complicit police force and an inept leadership. Resulting today in the beginning of the end of our nation.
A Call To Action
So let’s prepare now, from our living rooms. If you are not registered as a voter, do so now. If you’ve not been fully vaccinated, register now, then stay home. If you still believe in your country, speak to Gerak Independent. Become the catalyst for change because it is that time. Let’s put our independent candidates up for the next elections. This is a failed state. Everyone of us knows it. Enough is enough. It’s time to pull out all the stoppers and bring this baby home.
Jennifer Soars